Sunday, August 29, 2010

Inappropriate Wedding Songs

(NOTE: Read the post below this one first)

So I wrote that bit below about list-making in a notebook in my room last night and then copied it onto the internet a few minutes ago only to log onto the Facebook network and see the my sister Maureen’s status to say: “random survey: please nominate your song choices for "songs not to be played at a wedding"... just curious what you can come up with... i'm pretty disappointed by the lists i'm finding online but i KNOW there are some terrible songs out there :)” Although I question her use of the smiley face thing (both in this case and always) and I’m assuming by “terrible” she means “terribly inappropriate for the occasion,” not just bad songs, I like the idea and it lends itself perfectly to my list-making fascination. Here’s what I came up with:

BOB DYLAN: Positively 4th Street, Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands, It Ain’t Me Babe, Like A Rolling Stone, Idiot Wind, or anything off of his Christmas album or Self Portrait.

NEIL YOUNG: F##kin’ Up



ROLLING STONES: Satisfaction, Can’t Always Get What You Want

U2: With or Without You, Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, One

Anything by Biggie Smalls, Eminem, Lil’ Wayne, Elliott Smith, and especially the Wu-Tang Clan


I like to make lists. They are simple, concise and follow a theme. I make lists all the time, in fact, I carry in my back left pocket at all times a small notebook and pen that I fill with random reminders, email addresses, thoughts/ideas, quotes, and perhaps most importantly, lists. I’ve been carrying these things around for years and the lists can vary from “To Do” lists, “People to Call/Email” lists to “Things to Buy” lists. They also tend to include lists of random things I think about that can be put into list format. Just the other day when I was cleaning some stuff out of my room I found a list I made when I first arrived in Xebe titled, “Things I might be able to do in the seemingly copious amount of free time I am about to have.” There were 14 items listed, three of which were, “Write (make lists),” “Wittle,” and “Sharpen knives for wittling.”

Despite my affinity for list-making, I was thinking the other day that there are a number of lists I haven’t made that I would be fascinated to see but it is too late to make them because I lost track of what I wanted to list. Then I started to think of all these other lists that are not too late to make and maybe someday I will elaborate on them and even turn them into blog posts, although that is pretty unlikely. So, without further ado, a list of lists that never were or someday will be:

1. List of how many “Chicken Buses” I’ve been on and for how many hours/days total.
2. List of all of the books I’ve read.
3. List of all of the movies I’ve seen. (On my lap top, of course, because the list of movies I’ve seen in the theaters would be a list of one: Inception. Which was mind blowing, by the way.)
4. List of reasons why it’s a bad idea to eat a chicaron papusa—corn tortilla with bits of pig skin stuffed inside and (probably unwashed) cabbage on top—from a lady selling them out of a dirty food cart on the side of the road.
5. List of what happens to your body when you eat said chicaron papusa.
6. List of medieval tortures I would voluntarily subject myself to instead of having #5 happen to me again.
7. List of pies that I miss and list of socially and morally reprehensible things I would do to obtain one, especially Granny’s Life Altering Strawberry Rhubarb Miracle Pie (yes, it deserves to be capitalized and copy written) which she had been perfecting for about 90 years now.
8. List of reasons why it is a bad idea to volunteer to ref a Guatemalan girls’ basketball game, or as I like to call it, Dr. James Naismith’s worst nightmare.
9. List of reasons why Peace Corps should allow us to own/drive/ride motorcycles and other rule changes that would make my life so much easier.
10. List of the effects of 500 years of oppression, racism, and gender discrimination.
11. List of the effects of 500 years of not having ever produced even a semblance of a counter-culture.
12. List of excuses for not blogging more often.
13. List of ways I’ve rationalized how often I bathe, or rather, don’t bathe.

Friday, August 13, 2010

One Year and Counting

As you probably haven't been noticing, it has been a while since I've written anything here. I have a whole slew of excuses and I even once thought of writing an entire post of excuses for why I haven't written anything for months. Since I still have over a year left here, that is still a likely possibility.

However, I do have one legitimate excuse. Usually I write out what I want to put up here on my computer so I can start it and come back to it and also so I don’t have to pay to write it at the internet cafĂ©. But, a couple months ago my computer stopped turning on and it doesn’t look like it ever will again. Then when my parents came they brought me an old laptop that they weren’t using but it doesn’t seem to accept my memory drive so all of the stuff I have written on it I can’t get off.

The thing is, I have written all kinds of stuff to put up here on that computer but I have no way of posting it. As I said, my parents came and I wrote up something about their trip that sort of just turned into a list of reasons why I think I was adopted, I wrote a five page diatribe about all of my problems with soccer during the World Cup complete with footnotes and references (honestly, I really did), and my cousin Conor also came to visit me recently and I wrote about that trip as well. Alas, none of it is here. Instead you have to read this, sorry. (SIDENOTE: For all of the problems I have with soccer and soccer fans, the World Cup was awesome. Just thought that needed to be said.)

Anyways, I just wanted to stop in and say that I am still alive and doing well. Actually, I just remembered as I was typing this that yesterday was my one year anniversary in Guatemala which just happened to coincide with me eating my first ever bull testicle. I could elaborate on that but I don’t think I will; let’s just leave it at that. Also, I wanted to post the article that my dad wrote about his trip here for The Oregonian. I posted it on Facebook and all of my friends have been telling me how awesome they thought it was and one girl even wrote, ‘Yo dad is da bomb! Awesome article!’ I’m sure he will be glad to hear that since I’m positive being described as ‘da bomb’ is on my father’s bucket list. So, you can cross that one off, Dad. Next up: bull testicle.

Here's the link: